The F Word- Women Supporting Women: Meet Monica: "I would like my younger self to know that so many more obstacles are coming her way, but that she'll be able to overcome every single one of them."



  
Today I'd like to introduce you to Monica Liao QuĂ©liz, one of the first people I met after moving to the US. Here a few things I noticed about her right away - She has the brightest smile and the sparkliest eyes EVER, she is a people person and a fierce defender of such (aka does not take any BS) and one of the most talented and open minded people I know. Interested yet? Lets ask her some questions and get to know her, shall we?!

Hi Monica, I'm so excited for you to be part of this series. Why don't you start of by introducing yourself and tell us a bit about your story.
Hello! My name is Mónica Liao Quéliz and I was born and raised in the Dominican Republic. I am half-Dominican/half-Taiwanese, something that has shaped the unique way I see the world, and the way I approach my personal career as a filmmaker/content creator/dancer.
I moved to the United States in 2014 without having a clue of what I wanted to do. I started a career in Communications at Middlesex Community College, and eventually found a passion for film. This however, wasn't really much as a surprise… since I realized that as a kid I used to be really interested in the entertainment world. My journey in the United States has been one of finding where my morals and values lie, as I've found myself very interested in showcasing diversity of all kinds; something that I tend to incorporate in all of my creative projects.
This past year has been very rough, as I have discovered that I suffer from endometriosis, a chronic illness that causes painful periods, bloating, chronic pain, and many more painful symptoms. It's been a rough path, and as of now I am currently physically limited because I underwent surgery last August 2018. This has put a stop to my passion for dancing (I still continued choreographing though!) but it hasn't stopped me from pursuing my dreams, and has taught me a lot of valuable lessons. Now more than ever, I'm learning a plethora of information about women's health, and other issues related to that.
I believe that our society can improve in many aspects, and I want to create content that helps educate and exposes people to new ideas and views. As of now, I'm about to start an internship in Boston, and am currently on my way to graduate from Fitchburg State University this upcoming May! My health condition is not very clear, but I'm fighting this through with the help of my close friends and family. Although the path has been really tough, I believe this will only make me more resilient! 
That's so interesting, Is there anything else that no one would guess about you?
People tend to view me as a very open and personable individual. Although this isn't a lie, I'm also very private. I don't share every single aspect of my life, and I'm very selective of the people I trust and the information I share with the public.  
What do you wish someone would ask you?
I wish people in general would genuinely ask each other how they really are. Instead of a generic "how are you?" I would like for someone to truly sit with me and ask about how I've been doing. I've learned a lot about people, and I've realized people have a tendency of being really impersonal and egotistical. Barely anyone listens, but everyone loves to talk. A simple genuine "how are you?" goes a long way.
I noticed that too since coming to the US, people ask how you are doing but keep walking without stopping in their tracks. Definitely something to think about and self-reflect.  On to the next question, What is one thing you had to overcome in your life?
I've had to overcome many things since I was a child. I grew up in an emotionally abusive home, and dealing with depression/anxiety has been something that I've had to live with since I have a memory. It's a constant battle, but I'm trying to become better with learning how to relax, and taking things one step at a time. My chronic illness has been really tough to deal with, but it has put me on a path where I've had to learn how to eat healthier, find time to relax, and have better time management.
I find that sometimes we are our biggest critic and we are holding ourselves back sometimes, so what stands between you and happiness?
I think that as of now, my personal struggles and the way I'm trying to cope with them are keeping me from being happy. I've had to change my perspective in life, and I'm still learning how to do certain things and how to deal with people. Self-doubt is probably the biggest obstacle, and one that I'll probably deal with for a long time. I hope to become better at putting it aside in the years to come.

Perfect Segway, what would you like your younger self to know?

I'd like my younger self to know that she was right about her growing up to become a tenacious person. I would also like my younger self to know that so many more obstacles are coming her way, but that she'll be able to overcome every single one of them. I'm still trying to tell these things to myself!  

As you know I am all about self appreciation and empowering women, what do you think is the best thing about being a woman?
This is somehow a tough question! I've grown up kind of hating being a female, not because of the simple idea that females are inferior, but because we already have so many disadvantages. However, there are so many wonderful things that come with being a woman/female. There is a sense of community that you have with other females that I truly love. I also really like the fashion choices that we have. Being a woman and dealing with all of the struggles that we deal with every day gives you a certain unique strength that I appreciate a lot. It sucks that we have to deal with a lot of discrimination and abuse, but these things make us bond and hopefully help us lift each other up. 

I love that! What do you want women to know that might be struggling?

I want women to know that their purpose in life is not to live for others. That goes for females who think they need to be a mother, wife, or girlfriend, in order to be happy in life. It's okay to have those goals, but I've met many females who only think about those things because that's what they are taught. Our society has a toxic masculinity mentality that teaches young girls and boys how to act a certain way from a very young age. I hope that females learn that they are the ones who define who they are, and not some predetermined societal standards. This goes for boys/males as well!

I think I have an idea but how do you feel about patriarchy?
This is such a complex topic. The patriarchy is definitely real (some folks believe it's a fake concept for some reason). I feel that we are making progress towards becoming a society that strives for equity not only of gender and sexes, but also race and other social aspects. I think that the patriarchy is rooted in toxic masculinity that has existed since the beginning of time, which is why it's not something we can overcome in a matter of a few years. I believe people need to become more educated about the topic of equity/equality and we all need to start having honest conversations with each other, no matter how uncomfortable they may be. Listening is key, especially if you are a person that has more privilege than others. At the end of the day, no matter how much females fight and move forward, if we don't also have support from other genders, we will never be able to reach a society where people will be considered equal.



I think its important to give back in some shape or form, what is it that you like to do help others?
When I create content, I hope to be helping others see a different point-of-view. On top of that, I always try to be kind to people, because you never know what they are going through. When it comes to my friends, I always try to listen and reach out, as well as give them levelheaded advice 
Love that! Last question, this one is a bit of a loaded one-what do you want to be remembered for?
I don't really know what are my goals in life, but I do know that I want to be remembered for being a kind person. I try my best to improve every day and to try to be a person who truly cares about others. As long as people remember me in a positive light, I'll be happy. They say it's not what you do or say, but the way you made people feel. I hope that I've been making people feel mainly positive vibes.
 
Contact info:
Instagram: @monicamlq or @magentaphilosophy
Twitter: @Magphilosophy
YouTube: MagentaPhilosophy
Facebook: magentaphilosophy
Email: mliaoqueliz@gmail.com



 







 

 
 









 
 




 





 






 

 




 
 










 


 

 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 

 





 
 


 



 
 
 
 
 
 

 












 







 











 









 








 
 
 
 
 
 





 

 
 
 


 


 

 
 

 



 

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